Transparent Monument
Here are the things I struggle to be, in no particular order: a writer, a visual designer, an actor, a director, a musician, a father, and a husband. Oh, and an employee, because none of those things are currently paying the bills, for those of you keeping score at home.
I had originally conceived of this blog o’ mine to be a cunningly crafted, slicked up presentation of myself as a Person Who Knows What They’re Doing. But, alas! Such is not the case. And so, in the interest of transparency (or perhaps the illusion thereof… you just never know with me), I’m going to admit that I’m Just Making It Up As I Go Along.
I am inspired by the transparency demonstrated by people who are infinitely better than I am at those categories listed above – better, and more successful. I think this might be part of the equation – people crave honesty. They need reality, because God (or Allah, or Buddah, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Obama, or the GOP, or the Universe, or the Great Inner Enlightenment, pick your poison… wouldn’t want to leave anybody out, because I love every last one of you and wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings) knows there’s enough falsity to choose from. Supply and Demand (an outmoded idea, I know, because socialism is so much cooler than the free market these days, but bear with me) predicts that under these conditions, the value of honesty should be great.
But wait a minute… Honesty for the sake of gain? You betcha. I’m a capitalist, a dirty filthy stinking rotten capitalist. So pay up.
Anyway, I’ve been wondering as of late how to actually get people to take a look at me, to be actually interested, to somehow give a damn about what I do. And it hit me, more or less like a ton of very heavy things, that I need to actually DO something. Because, as Telamon more-or-less said, and was later more-or-less quoted by Steven Pressfield:
“It is one thing to study war and another to live a warrior’s life.”
So, after getting shut down at work when I tried to take them up on their offer to fund further education (ok, it was a Graphic Design degree, and they’re a pharmaceutical company, but c’mon, that doesn’t mean they have to be so closed-minded), I decided to begin to write again. It’s been a while. And I started writing on the back of the company’s Policy and Procedure regarding tuition reimbursement, typing it in when I got a chance, and joyfully, gleefully shredding the draft. Very therapeutic.
The result is the beginning of a story that will undoubtedly offend many of you who know me, some of you that are just meeting me, and none of you that will never know who I am. (At least there’s that.) Some of you, however, I hope to befriend – through my art, or face to face, whichever comes first. We all love to share stories. I hope to be a teller of such stories (and not all of them using words) for those who will listen.
The one I am working on now, you ask? Not so fast, my dear. We just met, after all. In the meantime, would you like to follow me on Twitter? (But please stay away from here, because I really don’t like it at all. Thanks.)